16 sleeps and counting...

Well now, it is 16 sleeps until I get on a Lufthansa aeroplane to fly to Frankfurt with a 2.5 hour stopover then onward to Sofia Bulgaria.

Plane tickets are in my fire safe, passport is in my fire safe, bags are 1/2 packed & lying on my dining room floor.

I am feeling probably the most fatigued I have ever been. I sleep 8+ hours a night & do not feel any more rested when I get up. I'm dizzy, balance is off & so tired I can barely function. I nap 2-5 hours a day on a good day...

I'm going to list most of what I know is wrong with me now & what MS has given me... it's not in order of severity for the most part - it's just things I remember as I go along...

1. severe primary MS fatigue (tested at 74/84... 84 is worst)
2. dizzy
3. brain fog
4. eyes are always feeling pressure, hard to focus
5. slight left foot drop
6. numb stripe from my lower left nostril to just under my chin
7. balance issues
8. swear more when I'm tired
9. trouble absorbing information - once it gets in I'm not bad at retrieving it
10. #9 being said - memory issues - trouble grasping the word I want to say or write
11. can't read a book anymore because I can't process the info
12. don't absorb info aurally (need to have everything written down)
13. too tired to cook a lot - which is bad, because take out is salty
14. can't hold my arms above my head so I don't blow dry my hair etc because my arms just get too weak
15. trouble eating soup - lower lip doesn't always cooperate
16. I can walk on pine needles... apparently they hurt other peoples feet!
17. understanding what a zombie feels like...
18. acute ability to identify people that I do not need in my life
19. trouble focusing my eyes
20. trouble concentrating
21. the ability to drink copious amounts of kale smoothies :) Thank you Dr. Embry
22. walk with a cane due to dizziness (hopefully, I can "forget" the cane in Sophia...)
23. loss of sexual sensitivity (a few friends have told me that they got this groove back after liberation! woo hoo!) Me & the BF can't wait to test that one out :)


Here's a list of stuff I haven't been able to do for years... and some things I'll hopefully experience post liberation...
1. ride a bicycle
2. the old school 4 big wheel rollerskating :)
3. rollerblade *I never learned how - this is something I hope to try one day & not break a rib
4. play soccer
5. run
6. jump
7. be "normal" tired
8. have the ability to learn new things - read music, play piano
9. not have to think about meting out my energy when I wake up every morning
10. throw dinner parties
11. work 7.5 hours/day & still have energy to live life
12. not have to deal with the f'cking disability company any more
13. read books again
14. stop playing Farmville 'cause I'll be at work or our rollerblading :)

I'm sure I'll be able to clarify these lists once I'm liberated :)

July 18 fly to Frankfurt... arrive in Sofia July 19th... testing July 20th... LIBERATION July 21... MY REBIRTHDAY :)

I AM SO EXCITED AND HOPEFUL AND GRATEFUL TO MY FATHER FOR HELPING ME ACHIEVE THIS!